While Sony, Microsoft, Ubisoft, EA and other companies had their standard 1 hour conferences like every year, Nintendo this time chose to instead livestream for fourteen hours across two days. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Don’t worry, you Sony/Microsoft plebe, I’ve compiled all the important information you need to know:

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Nintendo’s E3 Treehouse “Day 1” livestream started with this game’s first official trailer, followed later by 5 hours live gameplay and commentary. Breath of the Wild is the biggest change to the Zelda formula ever, effectively modernizing it with a vast open world, non-linear progression, crafting & durability, emergent gameplay and physics, and at least some voice acting. Story-wise, Link has been dormant for 100 years, all the while Hyrule was left in ruins by an unspecified evil, the rest is to be discovered as he explores the world. The big robot things you’ve seen in sneak peeks are called “Guardians” and technology plays a huge role in the setting and theme.

The world is fucking huge.

Link can jump and crouch now. He can also climb almost any surface. Various actions including sprinting, gliding and climbing deplete his stamina meter. There’s inventory management now: He can hunt wildlife, gather materials, cook food and craft items. Raw food, cooked food and medicinal potions will be the only way to heal (no heart drops) and they can also buff Link in other ways as well. Potions can even be thrown to debuff enemies. He can use pretty much anything as a weapon (a Stalfos’ arm, a tree branch, an enemy club, an axe, etc.) and anything round as a shield (a pot lid, for example) and it all has durability so he’ll need to stock up. Arrows arc downward from gravity now.

The world is fucking huge. It bears repeating. The area shown off in the E3 demo is called the “Great Plateau” and it’s humongous, and then they zoom out on the map screen to show how small that area is in the overall world. Just finding a way to jump off of that starting area (and surviving) is the first big challenge, and it’ll require getting or making a glider. Choosing where to jump off is effectively the first important choice because where you land could have long term repercussions. Towns and NPCs were removed from the E3 build to prevent story spoilers.

There’s Amiibo support. The recent Wolf Link Amiibo will spawn a wolf companion that helps you with enemies. There will be 3 new Breath of the Wild Amiibo: Archer Link, Hooded Horseback Link, and a Guardian Amiibo with flexible arms.

Breath of the Wild was the only playable game at Nintendo’s E3 booth on the first day.

Pokemon Sun & Moon

On the first day, before live gameplay of Zelda, Nintendo devoted an hour to live streaming the opening of Pokemon Sun with the developers. We already knew quite a bit about the game, but since you’re not a Nintendo fan, I’ll give you the basics:

Pokemon Sun & Moon will be the next 3DS Pokemon game this fall, and it’ll be set in the island region of “Alola” which is based on the Hawaiian Islands. There’s a slew of new Pokemon (we know of the 3 starters, 2 legendaries and a few others) alongside some older Pokemon that inhabit that region. The human player and NPC characters now how more realistic human proportions instead of the “chibi” (big-head/small-body) style of older games.

As for E3, the developers divulged trivial nuggets about development such as “we decided to dress the player in lighter clothing because it’s hotter and more humid in Alola.” It was non-eventful. They even let the game idle during a battle for several minutes so they could talk about how cool the camera moves during battles. Wha? Whatever, let’s move onto the next game:

Pokemon GO

During the second day, they started with Pokemon GO… really just a developer discussion about it. It’s a location-based augmented-reality Pokemon game that lets you capture and battle Pokemon in “real world” areas. The big announcement was that the game is releasing in the latter half of July. They showed off the “Pokemon Go Plus” wearable device that pairs with your phone and announced the price for it at $34.99.

Ever Oasis

Nintendo showed off a new IP called Ever Oasis for the 3DS. It looks like what you’d get if you crossed the co-op adventuring of Tri-Force Heroes and Monster Hunter, and then combined that with the town management of Animal Crossing.

BoxBoxBoy!

Right after Ever Oasis they show off another 3DS game. This one is a sequel to BoxBoy! one of my favorite 2D puzzle platformers ever and a nifty little charming game that came out last year. BoxBoxBoy! gives you 2 times the boxes for 2 times the fun… I guess. This is really only something that you’d care about if you were a Nintendo fan so I’ll move on.

Mario Party Star Rush

Yet another 3DS game announced. This is a new Mario Party game, and this time the big hook is that you don’t have to take turns anymore. Every player rolls the dice and moves at the same time. Will launch in November. Games still apparently take a long time to finish; they didn’t get to complete their game before they had to move on to the next game.

Yo-Kai Watch 2: Fleshy Souls & Yo-Kai Watch 2: Bony Spirits

More 3DS. These are the 2-part sequel to the incredibly popular (in Japan) original Yo-Kai Watch. For you layman, it’s like Pokemon but with “youkai” (Japanese supernatural spiritual monsters). In Yo-Kai Watch 2 you get to time travel between modern day Japan and 1950s Japan. It’s coming out in October.

Monster Hunter Generations

The 3DS games don’t stop coming. MHG was announced last year, it came out in Japan last year, and will come out next month worldwide. For E3, they just played co-op with the developers.

Dragon Quest VII: Fragments of the Forgotten Past

A port the PlayStation classic for the 3DS. This game had been announced for US release since last year’s E3. They just showed it off and confirmed the release date for this September.

Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE

This is a spinoff/crossover of Fire Emblem and Shin Megami Tensei that was announced like 2 or 3 years ago. It already came out in Japan and they just showed it off in this Treehouse before its release… yesterday. Nintendo was really scrapping the bottom of the barrel at this point.

Wait, no, they’re showing off more stuff?

Paper Mario Color Splash

One of the bigger disappointments to Nintendo fans, Color Splash is all the things we don’t want in a Paper Mario game and none of the things we do, just as we had suspected when it was nonchalantly announced last March. The biggest news is how negative a reaction Nintendo has gotten for this game. Fuck this shit. I fuckin’ quit. Finish this article on your own. There’s nothing that can save… oh hey… is that…

Rhythm Heaven Megamix

STEALTH RELEASE! Live during their Treehouse E3 show, they unexpectedly released a game in one of the cooler franchises in the rhythm genre. Rhythm Heaven is like if WarioWare buttblasted Elite Beat Agents and somehow impregnated it anyway… that baby is Rhythm Heaven. The wonderful bastards at Treehouse were coy, saying things like, “whenever this comes out,” throughout their stream right up ’til the end.

It’s not as cool as P.T.’s stealth release, and definitely not as cool as P.T. itself, but it was a nice way to end their Treehouse live-stream.