Well, folks, it’s that time of year again. E3 is only a week away and rumors and predictions have been spreading around the internet like a bad rash (you know what I’m talking about * wink * ). Good news is, we have a cream for that. Our OWN E3 predictions that will not only blow your mind but are ENTIRELY ACCURATE… sort of. Time to break out the decorations and begin the celebration. The eve of our favorite annual holiday is upon us yet again. Whether you are a fan of a particular platform or just love games in general, the Electronics Entertainment Expo has plenty of gifts for gamers of all types. Throughout the week we will be taking a look at each of the three major console manufacturers plus all four individual publishers holding press conferences at the show. Join us as we prepare for the latest peek into the future of our industry at E3 2018.

Next up, Sony. E3 2018 promises to be a bit different than a year ago when Sony brought trailers for Spider-man, God of War, The Last of Us: Part 2 and Death Stranding. Or as those of us who aren’t memory challenged may recall, damn near the same shit they’re showing this year. Swap out God of War for Ghost of Tsushima and heyo, you’ve got a party! Don’t worry though, Sony plans to have even more pre-show this year, 5 days worth actually. If you’re looking for a conference that’s lit, or maybe another Knack sequel, then you may be disappointed. Sony has already promised they will focus on deep dives into their 4 big exclusives and will have no new hardware to announce. As uneventful as this conference may sound, Sony didn’t say anything about 3rd party reveals during their show and we know 2 new PlayStation 4 games and 2 PlayStation VR games will be announced between Wednesday and Sunday so there are still plenty of surprises to be had.

If you’re eager to ruin E3 2018 then I suggest you join us as we take a look a few of the things we already know, a few things we believe will be shown and toss in a few predictions, including at least one ‘crazy’ prediction from each of us.

What we know:

This part is really simple. Sony already told the world what they’re going to show this year, the bulk of Sony’s press conference will focus on their top 4 exclusive games. Spider-man, Death Stranding, Ghosts of Tsushima, and The Last of Us 2. Though… this is odd… does something seem… missing? What in the actual shit happened to Days Gone? Then again, maybe the zombies realized The Last of Us 2 was a bigger gig and jumped games? Oh, don’t be so silly. We’re pretty sure Days Gone is the title being discussed on Thursday when Sony plans to reveal the release date “for an Upcoming Worldwide Studios Title.”

What’s more predictable than a car on stage at an Xbox event? Destiny and Call of Duty DLC announcements on Sony’s stage! Oh, come now. You can’t say you didn’t see that one coming. Both of these announcements are poised to make big changes to the way you play them. Bungie promises they’re working to make this years ‘comet’ release something fans will be pleased with, addressing most of the concerns from the community. Meanwhile, Black Ops IIII still needs to detail out this Battle Royale mode that is so damned important they took the single player campaign out back and shot it like an incontinent dog.

What we ‘think’ we know:

Pee Wee’s word of the day is “opposite.” Can you say opposite? Seriously, everything is just backward this year. In this instance, Sony’s conference is basically the exact opposite of Xbox’s. Over there we know all about 3rd party deals and jack shit regarding the 1st party work. Here we’ve got a blueprint of what 1st party studios are working on and had to do some work to figure out what 3rd party games should be on stage this year.

First up, Spyro Reignited Trilogy. I mean, come on, where else did you think this would show up? Spyro is as synonymous with Sony as fat kids are with cupcakes. Mmmm, cupcakes! Sony wants you to feel like a kid again, and what better way than to show you a game you probably played as a kid. Hey, hands off my cupcake! Speaking of games you played as a kid, how about that Resident Evil 2 Remake? RE2make? Yes, that thing. A classic Capcom game beloved by many will be displayed with modern graphics and the ability to switch between classic and modern controls. Looking for something else from Capcom, maybe you’ll enjoy this. Capcom should be bringing Devil May Cry V to E3. Though the franchise has made a small splash with Xbox in the recent past, we think Dante is coming home, you’ll see this one on Sony’s stage.

So… did we miss something. It feels like we should know more about this yea… ohhh right. You’ll want to tune in early folks, Sony likes to host a pre-show where they talk about other news and announcements that, #sadface, are not buzzworthy enough to make the big show. What could this be? Well how about more footage and gameplay of Dreams? We expect to see a demonstration of how you create stories in the newest game from the Little Big Planet devs. You know what else they will probably talk about on the pre-show? PlayStation VR. Now that Sony has completely abandoned the Vita, it’s time for Sony to show us how much faith they have in VR… by not showing anything VR in the actual conference. If you’re looking for something less experimental we bet you’ll see a new trailer or even gameplay from Medieval. Yeah, that’s all we got.

Predictions:

We’re a bit light on predictions here. We do know of a few games that should be getting announced at E3 and Sony seems like the best place to do it. Let’s start off with a pair of games from WB Games. Ed Boon has recently started teasing that Mortal Kombat 11 will be coming to E3 while the timing is ripe for Rocksteady to finally show off their new non-Batman game. If you’ve only been gaming for a few years you wouldn’t know how painful it was to be a comic book fan who plays games. Prior to Arkham Asylum almost all games based on comic books were absolute trash, and none more so than Superman games. Because of this many are hopeful that this new game is indeed a new Superman game and that Rocksteady can use the same magic that revived the Batman franchise and actually make a Superman game that doesn’t suck.

Hold on a minute, what about Shenmue 3 and Final Fantasy VII REmake? My God will you keep your panties on. One of the big reasons Sony has dominated this generation is because of their relationship with Japanese developers. This means no one should be surprised to see more footage of new titles from Square, Atlus and Sega. We’re talking gameplay footage of Final Fantasy VII REmake, Shenmue III, Dragon Quest Builders 2 and more.

Crazy Predictions:

You know what goes together like peanut butter and jelly? Sony announcing the return of stupidly popular games no one has heard a peep from in over 10 years. You heard it here first, the console wars are over, PS4 owns everything, even PC.

Half

Life

Three

***BOOOM*** Shit, dropped the mic. Sorry, didn’t mean it, we’re not done with crazy predictions.

When you look back at Sony’s attempts to carve out a share of the handheld market it is easy to see how they failed. This isn’t the case for Virtual Reality. Whether PlayStation VR is a success or not Sony is bound to continue pushing the PlayStation brand into virtual reality. The only way they can do this is to spread their big franchises all over your face, literally. Get your mind out of the gutter, we’re not talking about a bukkake simulator, we’re talking God of War VR and Uncharted VR.

If you enjoyed this article let us know in the comments below, be sure to share your thoughts/predictions for the PlayStation conference and don’t forget to join us for the live streams on our E3 2018 page. If you’re feeling especially saucy and want to stalk us be sure to join us on Discord where we will be chatting live during each conference starting with Electronic Arts Live @ EA Play this Saturday.