Hello! Welcome to something new that’s guaranteed to be 100% helpful no questions asked. Every week Steam is flooded with games; Some good, some bad but all can be reported about so every week I’m going to report about these games giving a sentence or two based on what they look like so yeah it’s judging a book by its cover with a hint of colorful language. Who knows, some of these games I might review in the future.

The list is made up of 25 games that are to be released between the 12th February and 18th February. The games are in no particular order.

Title: The Little Slime
Release Date: 12th February
Platforms: Windows, Mac
Developer: StudioTilt
Publisher: StudioTilt

The Little Slime is basically what happens when you take some LSD; The game boasts 4 procedural stages, 100 items, 5 different characters, 3 modes and 63 monsters who have different combat patterns. It honestly looks like some great fun and a title I’ll be sure to pick up somewhere along the line.

Title: Committed: Mystery at Shady Pines – Premium Edition
Release Date: 12th February
Platforms: Windows, Mac
Developer: Fugazo, Inc.
Publisher: Fugazo Inc.

A rerelease of an indie horror game, Committed: Mystery at Shady Pines – Premium Edition takes you through an abandoned hospital trying to foil the doctor’s plans. This looked like a good shit your pants game until I realized it was an object puzzle adventure game which is great and all but it would have looked so sweet as a full-fledged horror.

Title: Hyperbolic Ignition
Release Date: 12th February
Platforms: Windows
Developer: Heartship Games
Publisher: Heartship Games

HOLY SHIT GRIPPING SPACE ACTION AND SWARMING ENEMIES AND PROJECTILES AND FLYING LAZERS OMGGGGGGGGGGG this game looks really fun :)

Title: NewTypes

Release Date: 12th February

Platforms: Windows, HTC Vive

Developer: Masahiro Suzuki

Publisher: Masahiro Suzuki

More a tool than a game, NewTypes lets you explore space in all its spacey glory and what’s more you can import your own scenery in blender meaning you could fly around that shitty cup you built from that one tutorial. Also, the game has VR support giving you that extra immersion.

Title: Satori Sounds VR

Release Date: 12th February

Platforms: Windows, HTC Vive, Oculus Rift

Developer: ZCat Systems, LLC

Publisher: Brainwave Dynamics

REALLY RELAXING AND STUFF AND HAS SOME VR SHIT.

Title: Roanoke

Release Date: 12th February 

Platforms: Windows

Developer: Failoutgay

Publisher: Failoutgay

I’m weary of survival games but after the recent Rust release I’m ready to jump back into the endless days of gathering wood and foraging for food and this game looks like it’s worth a try.

Title: Devil and the Fairy

Release Date: 12th February 

Platforms: Windows, HTC Vive, Oculus Rift

Developer: www.handy-games.com GmbH

Publisher: www.handy-games.com GmbH

As a proud HTC Vive user, I cannot tell you how happy I am to finally have a nice flow of VR games and this tower defence is no exception.

Title: Click and fight

Release Date: 12th February 

Platforms: Windows, SteamOS, Linux

Developer: Bug-meister production

Publisher: Bug-meister production

Who doesn’t like a good clicker? Furthermore, who doesn’t like a mummy dabbing?

Title: Kingdom Come: Deliverance 

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows, PS4, Xbox One

Developer: Warhorse Studios

Publisher: Warhorse Studios

Perhaps the only game on this list people will recognize, Kingdom Come: Deliverance will take the player on what is the Witcher 4 but with more wars and fewer monsters and who doesn’t love some voice acting from Brian Blessed?

Title: EXIT 4 – Portal

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: SIXNAILS

Publisher: SIXNAILS

It looks like a fun little puzzle game but I don’t really see the point of making sequels when the first game barely sold 2,000 copies.

Title: XBall Champion

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: Sky Coder

Publisher: Sky Coder

Rocket League? Is that you? My god, you’ve had a serious downgrade I mean why the hell does the ball look 2d? But seriously this game looks like it’s heading in the right direction but could do with a graphics upgrade.

Title: Space Invaders Extreme

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: TAITO CORP.

Publisher: Deciga, TAITO CORP.

My initial reaction to this game was “the devs are going to get sued” but I did some background checks and found this was made by the original creators of Space Invaders which is pretty neat. I’m guessing it’s a remaster of the the DS and PSP game that was a remaster of the original Space Invaders so I you could say it’s a remaster of a remaster.

Title: Aidsmoji: The Forbidden Fruit

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: Bmc Studio

Publisher: Bmc Studio

These FMV type games are getting pretty popular. Tesla Effect was the pioneer of this genre, Her Story followed and then Late Shift; All of these have been produced with a high budget but the beauty of FMV games is that even a child could make a movie and that’s exactly what this game is. What has our world come to.

Title: Quests Unlimited

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows, Mac, Steam OS, Linux

Developer: Oxrock Studio

Publisher: Oxrock Studio

What the actual fuck is this? Idle/RPG that’s in early access? This is a first!

Title: Monster Energy Supercross – The Official Videogame

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows, PS4, Xbox One

Developer: Milestone S.r.l.

Publisher: Milestone S.r.l.

As long as this isn’t just an advertisement for diabetes in a can then motorbikes doing some cool shit around a stadium sounds fun.

Title: Cattle and Crops

Release Date: 13th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: Masterbrain Bytes GmbH & Co. KG

Publisher: Masterbrain Bytes GmbH & Co. KG

Yet another game trying to profit off the successful Farming Simulator although it boasts a story mode, something unheard of in other farming games.

Title: The Islander

Release Date: 14th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: 7 Box Games

Publisher: 7 Box Games

From what I can tell it’s an island management sim where you harvest and decorate your farm or it could be a tower defence? Either way looks like some good fun.

Title: Galaxy Race

Release Date: 15th February

Platforms: Windows, HTC Vive

Developer: Magic VR

Publisher: Magic VR

Galaxy Racer is claiming to be the first ever VR game to use body balance tech meaning your movements will control how you move in the game. Also, it has a cool ass hand so that’s a plus I guess.

Title: Secret of Mana

Release Date: 15th February

Platforms: Windows, PS4, PSVita

Developer: Square Enix

Publisher: Square Enix

Ahh Secrets of Mana. Originally released in 1993 for the SNES this cute action RPG is getting an overhaul 25 years later and looks pretty awesome.

Title: Battle for Mountain Throne

Release Date: 15th February 

Platforms: Windows, HTC Vive, Oculus Rift

Developer: Random Bird games

Publisher: Random Bird games

Yay more VR games! Battle for Mountain Throne looks sweet and I can’t wait to be swinging goblins left and right all while doing some trick shield flicks.

Title: Sea Battle: Through the Ages

Release Date: 16th February

Platforms: Windows, Mac

Developer: Real Fighting

Publisher: Real Fighting

Civilization with battleships; Now that’s a concept I can get behind. Not sure why the guy’s name in the picture anti-Ghandi though. Will definitely be buying at some point!

Title: Individual Investor Tycoon

Release Date: 17th February

Platforms: Windows, Mac

Developer: CHENJINDING

Publisher: CHENJINDING

Ever wanted to know what it’s like to invest in stocks AND real estate at the same time all from the comfort of your own bedroom? Well, now you can!

Title: Wall Street Junior

Release Date: 17th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: WSJ Team

Publisher: WSJ Team

Ironic after the recent Wall Street Crash and what’s even better is the fact the WSJ Team developed; Could they be trying to train the next generation of businessmen?

Title: Fist of Brave

Release Date: 18th February

Platforms: Windows

Developer: ALOOF PROJECT

Publisher: ALOOF PROJECT

Oh god this is just like