Clickity click click. Right on the money. Shootin’ blanks every time. All the time.

The cake is a lie!!!

I’m the monster in the closet.

I uh, don’t have any bullets. You gonna give me bullets? Are there bullets up there? Where do I get my gun?

You Died!

Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: “A horrible person.”

You monster!

You spoony bard!

Thank you Mario! But our Princess is in another castle!

Your face, your ass – what’s the difference?

This place was like Baghdad with g-strings.

“That was too close, you were almost a Jill sandwich.”

And so our story begins.

It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the bottom.

I don’t need an army, I’ve got a Krogan

I never asked for this.

Life, dreams, hope, where do they come from? And where do they go? Such meaningless things, I’ll destroy them all!

Look behind you!

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

I gotta go meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

I’ll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?

Like all the bad things in my life, it started with the death of a woman.

It’s fear that gives men wings!

“Prepare for unforeseen consequences.”

I’m looking for a place where sailors hang out.

“War… War never changes!”

You have died of dysentery.

This town had more smoke and mirrors than a strip club locker room.

You are all things, Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end, you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.

“Wake up Mr Freeman, Wake up and.. Smell the Ashes.”

I don’t have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain.

Stay a while and listen.

I was an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.

Hard to see big picture behind the pile of corpses.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

“Would you kindly…”

In a world without gold, we could have been heroes.

Go for the eyes, Boo. Go for the eyes.

“We all make choices, but in the end, our choices… make… us.”

I’m no hero. Never was, never will be. I’m just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.

I pooped right where you’re standing.

“Who wants toast?”

Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I’M A POTATO.

Look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle… piloting a blimp.

That reminds me of the first shotgun I got when I was a kid, I was the happiest 4 year old in the county.

Do a barrel roll!

Rise if you would. For that is our curse.

Whenever I smell asphalt, I think of Maureen…

You know I never really thought about it, Rico but there’s a difference between you LOOK and you SEE. You look at Medici, she’s beautiful. She’s a jewel in the sun. But you see Medici, she’s completely rotten.

“I had a permanent constipated grimace on my face. I was revenge personified.”

I’d been sitting at the bar for three hours, or five years depending on the way you looked at things.

Do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?

Look behind you, a Three-Headed Monkey!

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

May you find your worth in the waking world.

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.”

It’s like pornography or the perfect turd, I can’t describe it, but I’ll know it when I see it.