I gotta go meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

And so our story begins.

You know I never really thought about it, Rico but there’s a difference between you LOOK and you SEE. You look at Medici, she’s beautiful. She’s a jewel in the sun. But you see Medici, she’s completely rotten.

You are all things, Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end, you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.

It’s fear that gives men wings!

“Wake up Mr Freeman, Wake up and.. Smell the Ashes.”

Do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?

It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the bottom.

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

It’s like pornography or the perfect turd, I can’t describe it, but I’ll know it when I see it.

You spoony bard!

Your face, your ass – what’s the difference?

“That was too close, you were almost a Jill sandwich.”

“Who wants toast?”

In a world without gold, we could have been heroes.

Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: “A horrible person.”

Whenever I smell asphalt, I think of Maureen…

I’m looking for a place where sailors hang out.

Go for the eyes, Boo. Go for the eyes.

You monster!

I don’t need an army, I’ve got a Krogan

I pooped right where you’re standing.

Hard to see big picture behind the pile of corpses.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

The cake is a lie!!!

Stay a while and listen.

I uh, don’t have any bullets. You gonna give me bullets? Are there bullets up there? Where do I get my gun?

Rise if you would. For that is our curse.

Like all the bad things in my life, it started with the death of a woman.

I’m the monster in the closet.

I’m no hero. Never was, never will be. I’m just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.

This place was like Baghdad with g-strings.

I’d been sitting at the bar for three hours, or five years depending on the way you looked at things.

Do a barrel roll!

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.”

I’ll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”

Look behind you!

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

This town had more smoke and mirrors than a strip club locker room.

Look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle… piloting a blimp.

Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I’M A POTATO.

Life, dreams, hope, where do they come from? And where do they go? Such meaningless things, I’ll destroy them all!

“We all make choices, but in the end, our choices… make… us.”

You have died of dysentery.

Look behind you, a Three-Headed Monkey!

I don’t have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain.

I was an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.

“I had a permanent constipated grimace on my face. I was revenge personified.”

Thank you Mario! But our Princess is in another castle!

“Would you kindly…”

That reminds me of the first shotgun I got when I was a kid, I was the happiest 4 year old in the county.

May you find your worth in the waking world.

Clickity click click. Right on the money. Shootin’ blanks every time. All the time.

You Died!

I never asked for this.

“Prepare for unforeseen consequences.”

“War… War never changes!”