“Who wants toast?”

You Died!

I’d been sitting at the bar for three hours, or five years depending on the way you looked at things.

I pooped right where you’re standing.

You have died of dysentery.

“Would you kindly…”

I never asked for this.

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

I was an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.

I’m looking for a place where sailors hang out.

“That was too close, you were almost a Jill sandwich.”

This place was like Baghdad with g-strings.

“I had a permanent constipated grimace on my face. I was revenge personified.”

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”

“We all make choices, but in the end, our choices… make… us.”

Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: “A horrible person.”

Look behind you, a Three-Headed Monkey!

Go for the eyes, Boo. Go for the eyes.

“Wake up Mr Freeman, Wake up and.. Smell the Ashes.”

It’s like pornography or the perfect turd, I can’t describe it, but I’ll know it when I see it.

And so our story begins.

This town had more smoke and mirrors than a strip club locker room.

You spoony bard!

I’m no hero. Never was, never will be. I’m just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.

“Prepare for unforeseen consequences.”

You know I never really thought about it, Rico but there’s a difference between you LOOK and you SEE. You look at Medici, she’s beautiful. She’s a jewel in the sun. But you see Medici, she’s completely rotten.

You are all things, Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end, you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.

Whenever I smell asphalt, I think of Maureen…

Do a barrel roll!

Your face, your ass – what’s the difference?

Life, dreams, hope, where do they come from? And where do they go? Such meaningless things, I’ll destroy them all!

“War… War never changes!”

In a world without gold, we could have been heroes.

I’ll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?

You monster!

May you find your worth in the waking world.

Look behind you!

That reminds me of the first shotgun I got when I was a kid, I was the happiest 4 year old in the county.

Stay a while and listen.

Do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

I’m the monster in the closet.

Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I’M A POTATO.

Look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle… piloting a blimp.

It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the bottom.

Rise if you would. For that is our curse.

I gotta go meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.

I don’t have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain.

I uh, don’t have any bullets. You gonna give me bullets? Are there bullets up there? Where do I get my gun?

Clickity click click. Right on the money. Shootin’ blanks every time. All the time.

Hard to see big picture behind the pile of corpses.

Thank you Mario! But our Princess is in another castle!

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.”

The cake is a lie!!!

Like all the bad things in my life, it started with the death of a woman.

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

I don’t need an army, I’ve got a Krogan

It’s fear that gives men wings!