Lets Play a Game Called "I Hate You"
  • POSTED BY xsuicidesn0wmanx on Jul 19, 2016

    A lot of you may have heard about the recently unearthed US model Nintendo 64 Disc Drive found in Seattle this past week. The item was discovered by a collector who goes by the name of Metal Jesus, and has a YouTube channel titled Metal Jesus Rocks. I’ve actually been a fan of this guy for a while, he has a gaming collection that is very similar to my own, and I watch a lot of his videos shortly after they are posted.

    One of the videos he posts that I absolutely love is a game he plays with his friends, most of whom have their own YouTube channel, where they all go out and literally buy the worst game they can find for the other to play. Sometimes they even go as far as taking the games and playing them to see who sucks the most at those games, with the loser winning a trophy of one of the terrible games they bought.

    Now obviously we all live too far away to play the games together and award a trophy, but that doesn’t mean we cant have a little fun with the idea. Lets pretend that we are out to buy a ‘gag gift’ for a buddy, and assume there is no limit to how far we can go to find this gift. The only rule is you cannot use a game that has been mentioned by another member.

    So, what is the absolute best(meaning worst) “I Hate You” game you can think of that you would buy for your friend?

    I’ll start off with an original Xbox game I played back in the early 2000’s from Jaleco Entertainment called Pulse Racer. It was a god awful racing game with terrible controls, below average graphics, and poor frame rates. If I had to rate this game today, it would probably find itself in the 15-25 range. Just about the only thing good about the game was it had a track builder where you could build your own course, but the options were so limited every track looked exactly the same. If I wanted to make sure my buddy owned a game he was truly ashamed of, this is it!

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    POSTED BY elheber on Jul 20, 2016

    Heading off to work in a moment but I have a quick question. Is this only us naming bad games or are we taking turns making each other play them?

    "A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."

    "A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."

    POSTED BY xsuicidesn0wmanx on Jul 20, 2016

    Haha, I wish we could play them, I probably own a bunch of the games we can think of. But this is just naming them for fun. If you want to play them go for it!

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    POSTED BY elheber on Jul 20, 2016

    Oh man, I don’t really play bad games anymore; not since I was old enough to know the difference. I grew up a poor gamer so I tried to spend my money wisely. If I were to name a game, it’d be from the NES/SNES days I guess.

    OH wait, I remember one! Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory but not the Xbox/PC one… no that game is great… I mean the shitty GCN/PS2 port. HAHA! No, tricked you again, I mean the swampy ass-sweat that was the 3DS version! If you thought the GCN game looked like crap in comparison to the PC version, wait ’til you get a load of this smoldering dumpster fire:


    If you squint really hard, it almost looks like a videogame.

    The game was not meant to be viewed on a 400×240 pixel screen; there’s not enough screen space to make out anything 10 meters away. Not only that, the 3DS was missing an analog stick and two shoulder buttons. How did they resolve that problem? They made the face buttons control aim, and they made the d-pad do the things the face buttons and triggers used to do. The problem quickly surfaces… all the things you should be doing while moving (wall hugging, jumping, crouching, etc.) are done with the same thumb with which you move. You could only play it comfortably if you had two left thumbs.

    I regretted buying this game very quickly. I only did it because I was hyped for the 3DS and there were no other good launch games. I couldn’t even pawn this game off on my friends.

    "A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."

    "A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."

    POSTED BY xsuicidesn0wmanx on Jul 20, 2016

    Oh you think that’s bad? I’ve got the N-Gage port! Top that!

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    POSTED BY elheber on Jul 20, 2016

    The N-Gage game was a port? I thought it was a brand new game!

    "A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."

    "A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."

    POSTED BY xsuicidesn0wmanx on Jul 20, 2016

    Maybe it was, either way playing SC with only a d-pad is horrible. I think I made it through about 10 minutes and had to turn it off.

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.

    You're all zombie thigh-fat people brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!!! - Happy Noodle Boy.
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